#31 Write a recipe for disaster.
A room full of Bakke children + a game of Trivial Pursuit.

We always have the best of intentions.  It will be fun.  It will give us a chance to do something that we all love. We are all very smart.  We are all very competitive.  And as the character David Bliss said in the play Hay Fever, “I am not inaccurate!”  Obviously, we are never wrong.

#32  Your friend calls to say she saw you in the back of a police car yesterday.  What happened?

Would you believe I was on a ride along?  O.K. even I wouldn’t believe that.  As with most of the crazy things that happen in my life, it started out with me trying to be nice.  I was walking up to the highway that runs through town to check my mailbox when a car swerved to the side of the road.  The person driving the car asked me where was the best place to get ice cream.  I told him to keep going west and that when he got outside of town the Drive In would be right on his left.  Suddenly, there was a cackle from the backseat, “Are the burgers as good as they are at Hardee’s?”  I looked down into the car and saw Sue. Not one of my many friends named Sue, but Sue the housekeeper/friend who shared a table with us at Nellie’s Cafe in Walnut Grove.  I told her that it was nice to see her again and turned to go back to my house but then she held up her hand and she was holding a gun!  She told me to get into the car and that I was going to go with them out to the drive in and rob the place because I had a friendly face.  I told her that everyone out there knew me so they wouldn’t fall for that.  But, THIS Sue was a daredevil and did what she wanted.  I asked them if I could drive separately (it was worth a shot!) and she pointed the gun at me again and told me to get into the car.  I did and we drove out to the Drive In.  Sue told me to go up to the window.  I did and when the girl asked for my order I told her that I wanted to order 200 coneys.  The girl didn’t believe me.  I said again that I wanted 200 coneys and to make them extra spicy.  I looked at the girl and told her to tell the cook that Bakke demanded 200 extra spicy coneys.  I started walking back to the get away car and Sue started yelling at me asking where the money was.  I told her that they were putting it into a bag and bringing it out to the car to make it look real.  The maniac housekeeper/friend seemed to be placated by this.  As I was getting into the car, a swarm of police cars sped into the parking lot.  They jumped up, handcuffed me and threw me into the back of one of the cars.  Sue and her driver were placed into another car.

As the chief got into the car I asked her how she knew that I was in trouble.  “Well, while Chanda wouldn’t put it past you to order 200 coneys, she knew that the only way you would order anything extra spicy was with a gun to your back.”