Fiction

#60 Detroit Rock City

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#60 Write a short story that is set in Detroit in 1956, in which a car floor mat plays a crucial role.

Mike walked out of the court house with a smile on his face. After seven grueling tries to get his drivers license (including the incident that landed him on the front page of the Minneapolis Star after mistaking the gas for the brake and taking a detour into Lake Calhoun) Mike finally had the piece of paper that showed he was a legal driver. This called for a celebration! His first stop was at his best friend Steve’s house.

Walking into the Smith’s kitchen, Mike spotted Steve’s mom putting the finishing touches on a cake that said in fancy icing “Eighth Times the Charm.” Mike picked Steve’s mom in a bear hug and told her that he had passed the test and it had only taken him seven tries. Mrs. Smith started laughing and said, “I never thought I’d live to see the day. Wait until Steve hears about this.” Steve picked this minute to walk into the kitchen and see his mother’s emotional outburst. “Mike, grab a slice of cake and lets go break this license in!”

As Steve and Mike were driving around Minneapolis they started to talk about the big concert that was coming to town that weekend. Elvis. This goofy guy with a goofy hairstyle and even goofier dance moves had practically hypnotized all the girls at school. “I just don’t get what these girls see. His songs are pretty decent but they all act like they want to marry him.” Mike posed as they drove into the drive in to see their first movie of the spring. “I know that all the tickets are sold out for this show but my cousin in Detroit says that there are plenty of tickets for the show next Friday. Steve started laughing, “There is no way our parents are going to let us go to Detroit to see Elvis.” Mike had to agree, the thought of his parents letting him drive all the way to Michigan to see Elvis seemed far fetched. As they sat watching the movie Mike and Steve thought of excuses for going to Detroit. “Maybe we could tell them that we want to go to a Tigers game.” “Steve, they will never believe that a biggest Twins fan in the world would want to waste the time and money to see a Twins game. Besides, aren’t you saving up to go to Gustavus in the fall.” Suddenly a lightbulb went off in Steve’s mind he had the prefect plan to go to Detroit.
Four days later, Steve and Mike were in a car headed to Detroit. Steve had been right, he had the perfect plan for a parent endorsed trip to Detroit. Steve and Mike were both planning to attend Gustavus the next year. Gustavus, a lutheran school. This was fine news for Steve’s parents who were Lutheran but Mike’s parents were less than enthused worrying about wha the other members at the Church of St. Joseph would think about their only child attending a Lutheran school. Steve had decided that there must be a Catholic College in Detroit. After doing their research they decided that the Sacred Heart Major Seminary would be perfect. They scheduled a tour and got a very enthusiastic blessing from Mike’s parents.

As they drove around Detroit, Steve and Mike were very impressed with the big city. It seemed bigger than Minneapolis and St. Paul but they decided that this might just because everything in the city was new to them. They easily found the seminary and did the tour, looked at the dorms and sat down to lunch in cafeteria. Sitting at the table they separated their money into piles. A pile each for gas, food and lodging on the way home. It’s nice out we can camp at the side of the road. This is the money we can use for the tickets.

Steve and Mike went to the concert, had a great time and had to admit the girls were on to something. This Elvis was the real deal. Walking to the car after the concert they met with the sight of glass simmering in the street. The driver’s side window was smashed to pieces and all of their luggage, and even the peanut butter sandwiches they had snuck out of the cafeteria was gone. The only thing left in the car was the rock the person had used to break the windshield. Mike was terrified of what his parents would say. They wouldn’t believe that a seminary was in the part of town where your car got broken in to. Mike wrapped his jacket around his hand and started to brush the broken glass off the car seat. Steve just stood there looking pale. “Steve, wake up. did the body snatchers get you.” “Mike, you are gonna be really mad.”

Steve explained that he didn’t want his money getting stolen during the concert so he had hidden their money in his suitcase. His suitcase that was now gone. In their desperation to at least find enough gas money to get out of Detroit they started to search every inch of the car, there had to be a few coins wedged in the seat or hidden in the glove box. There search was fruitless except for the stick of juicy fruit gum they had ripped in half to share the wrapper fluttering to the floor. As Mike bent to pick up the wrapper he saw something sticking out under the floor mat. It was a note from written on an envelope that said “Mike, I love that you were nice enough to hide your trip to see Elvis with the hope of you going to the seminary. Your father and I have always loved a good joke.” Inside the envelope were two crisp 10 dollar bills. Mike had no idea how he would ever make this up to his mother. Well, short of going to the seminary to be a priest.

#42 and #43 I regret that

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#42 Something you’ve always regretted saying.

At the end of my junior year of high school, I was befriended by a girl that was more popular than I was.  I was pretty shocked that this girl decided that I was someone she wanted to hang out with.  She asked me if I wanted to go to Ridgedale and I was pretty sure that it was a joke.  I envisioned us getting to the mall and me getting doused with a bucket of pigs blood or some other geek shaming ritual.  But, that was not the case.  This girl did want to be my friend.  We were in choir together and had a lot of similar interests so we became fast friends.

Speaking of choir.  There was a sophomore girl who sat in front of us in choir who was really snotty and not very nice to anyone.  She seemed very fake all they way down to the fact that she obviously, spent time in the tanning booth.  During the night of one of our concerts my new BFF decided that she had had enough of this girl and was going to put her in her place.  She started saying things like, “Tan much?” She then started calling the girl a “citrus princess,” making fun of her unnatural color.  And what did I do?  Did I tell her to knock it off?  Did I tell her that even though this girl was awful, there was no reason for us to pick on her? Did I just tell her to shut up?  Nope.  I laughed and played along. I did nothing to stop it and probably egged her on. I was a coward.

This happened almost 25 years ago and I still feel terrible.  That night my character was tested and I totally failed.  Now that I’m a teacher, I tell this story to my students tell them that sitting back and doing nothing is pretty hard to forget. You will regret the things that you don’t say and don’t do just as much as the times that you are doing and saying bad things.  Be a person that you would be proud to know.  Don’t stoop to the level of others.

#43 Write a scene that begins: “Joe was the last person on Earth I expected to do that.” 

Joe was the last person on Earth I expected to do that.  He had never once talked to me or even seemed to notice who I was but suddenly, on a Monday morning he walked up carrying a cup from Starbucks.  “Um, good morning.  I know that you prefer to get your coffee from small independent stores but I drive by Starbucks on my way to work.  I figured it was better than nothing.” Joe stammered as he handed me the coffee cup.

I thanked him and took a sip, burning my mouth, yelling, “crap! That is as hot as lava.”

“Well, actually lava is 2,192 degrees Fahrenheit.  If the coffee was that hot it would have burned the cup, and your hand, and your face.”

“Oh, I suppose you are right, and how would you get lava here in Minnesota.  Hot asphalt maybe, but lava, definitely not. Well, thank you.  I think this is the first time you have ever spoken to me so it is delightful to get coffee.  Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.  Listen, I have to ask you for a favor.”

“Butter me up and then go in for the kill.  So, what do you need someone to babysit your kids, cat sit, dog sit, pick up your mail, water your plants, write you a sonnet.”

“So, I’m taking it this happens a lot.”

“Yes, it is one of the perils of being single and having no life.  You are available to watch plants, pets and progeny.”

“Well, you’ll be happy to know it is none of those things.”

“New is good.  So, what do you need a kidney?  Please don’t say a kidney.  I will feel like the biggest jerk in the world.”

“No. I need you to help me get ready for being on Jeopardy.”

“That. Is. Awesome.  It has always been my ultimate life goal to get on Jeopardy.  No offense Joe, if you have the ability to rattle off the the temperature of lava, you don’t need me.”

“Well, your first day on the job, when we asked you what you liked to do in your spare time, you said TV.  Most people would lie and say that they liked to read but you announced with no shame that you liked to watch TV.  I need someone who likes to watch TV.”

“Well, I’m your girl.”

#31 & #32 “I am not incaccurate!”

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#31 Write a recipe for disaster.
A room full of Bakke children + a game of Trivial Pursuit.

We always have the best of intentions.  It will be fun.  It will give us a chance to do something that we all love. We are all very smart.  We are all very competitive.  And as the character David Bliss said in the play Hay Fever, “I am not inaccurate!”  Obviously, we are never wrong.

#32  Your friend calls to say she saw you in the back of a police car yesterday.  What happened?

Would you believe I was on a ride along?  O.K. even I wouldn’t believe that.  As with most of the crazy things that happen in my life, it started out with me trying to be nice.  I was walking up to the highway that runs through town to check my mailbox when a car swerved to the side of the road.  The person driving the car asked me where was the best place to get ice cream.  I told him to keep going west and that when he got outside of town the Drive In would be right on his left.  Suddenly, there was a cackle from the backseat, “Are the burgers as good as they are at Hardee’s?”  I looked down into the car and saw Sue. Not one of my many friends named Sue, but Sue the housekeeper/friend who shared a table with us at Nellie’s Cafe in Walnut Grove.  I told her that it was nice to see her again and turned to go back to my house but then she held up her hand and she was holding a gun!  She told me to get into the car and that I was going to go with them out to the drive in and rob the place because I had a friendly face.  I told her that everyone out there knew me so they wouldn’t fall for that.  But, THIS Sue was a daredevil and did what she wanted.  I asked them if I could drive separately (it was worth a shot!) and she pointed the gun at me again and told me to get into the car.  I did and we drove out to the Drive In.  Sue told me to go up to the window.  I did and when the girl asked for my order I told her that I wanted to order 200 coneys.  The girl didn’t believe me.  I said again that I wanted 200 coneys and to make them extra spicy.  I looked at the girl and told her to tell the cook that Bakke demanded 200 extra spicy coneys.  I started walking back to the get away car and Sue started yelling at me asking where the money was.  I told her that they were putting it into a bag and bringing it out to the car to make it look real.  The maniac housekeeper/friend seemed to be placated by this.  As I was getting into the car, a swarm of police cars sped into the parking lot.  They jumped up, handcuffed me and threw me into the back of one of the cars.  Sue and her driver were placed into another car.

As the chief got into the car I asked her how she knew that I was in trouble.  “Well, while Chanda wouldn’t put it past you to order 200 coneys, she knew that the only way you would order anything extra spicy was with a gun to your back.”

#27, #28 and #29 Weird topics….

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#27 Describe an electronic device in the future that you won’t know how to operate.  
In the future, doctors, nurse practitioners and physicians assistants will be able to diagnose disease by using a hand held scanner.  The trick will be knowing where to point the device.  It will only scan the first area of the body that it scans so the medical worker will have to use their diagnostic skills to know which area to scan first.  It will totally be like something on Star Trek.

#28  A storm destroys your uncle’s shed and kills his six-year-old son.  Describe the color of the sky right before the storm hit.  
The sky was starting to turn ugly.  In the morning the sky was a color of blue that is usually reserved for the warm waters of a tropical island.  You expected to see clown fish darting between the bleached coral white clouds.  After lunch the sky started to turn the color of an old bruise.  A swirl of green, yellow and then black.  This did not bode well for the citizens of the town.

#29  Name the trees that stood in the neighborhood where you grew up.  
We had two big oak trees in front of the house.  They were really strong until a storm blew up and we’d lose a branch here or there.  Whenever that happened my Uncle’s Rick and Gary would have to come up from Iowa to help us cut up the branches.  I’ll name those trees Rick and Gary.  On the south side of the drive way was an elm tree.  It was tall and unassuming.  I’m going to name that tree Eric after my brother, because he is tall (at least when compared to me) and very unassuming.  Next to the elm were three christmas tree sized evergreens.  I’m going to name those Huey, Dewey and Louie because that is the coolest trio name.  On the north side of the house we had a very tall evergreen.  The squirrels used to jump from the oak trees on to the roof of the house and then run over to the pine tree.  I loved this about the squirrels, they knew how to have fun!  I will name that tree Old Hickory.  Sure, it wasn’t a hickory tree, but it was definitely the Andrew Jackson of our trees.  Little known fact.  Andrew Jackson’s greatest regret was that he never killed John Quincy Adams when he had had the chance.  True story.

#21, #22, & #23 Bless you!!! I forgive you!!!

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#21 A sneeze.
My brother Eric has the loudest sneeze of any person I have ever met.  When it comes out of nowhere it scares you. Literally, it will make you jump.  You want to scream at him for scaring you but people can’t control sneezes.  It would be like yelling at someone for breathing.

#22  The meanest thing anyone has ever said to you.

When I was seventeen I decided to get my ears pierced.  Like most teenagers, I made this life changing decision at the spur of the moment.  Being seventeen I needed to have a parent or guardian give their permission.  I was at the Minnesota State Wrestling tournament so my Mom was not there and my Dad was very busy being the head wrestling coach.  Undaunted, I found a willing adult to pose as my mother.  When we got to the shop and I was sitting in the chair my pseudo-mother had a change of heart.  She threw up her hands and admitted that we were lying and that she wasn’t my mom. She explained the situation to the piercing girl who shrugged and said something along the lines of, “whatever,” and pierced my ears.  The mother and I were on cloud nine.  I had gotten my ears pierced and we hadn’t had to lie. We were absolutely giddy and riding an adrenaline rush.  When we got back to the hotel we ran into this woman’s son and breathless with laughter started to tell him the whole story.  Midway he cut his mom off and said, “Mom, I don’t give a shit.”  Instantly, the wind was out of our sails.  We had been so happy and wanted to share this funny story and he didn’t care.  Adult Heather can totally understand where he this boy was coming from.  He was stressed out, he was in the State Tournament, he was a teenage boy. I would also see this was more a reflection of him being terrible to his mother.  But seventeen year-old Heather, was DEVASTATED.  She heard, “Mom, I don’t give a shit about Heather.” Seventeen year-old Heather, was convinced that most teenage boys didn’t give a shit about her and this was concrete proof that all her self-doubts were absolutely spot on.  I am forty-one years old and I will never forget how terrible I felt in that elevator.

Thankfully, this story has a happy ending.  Over the years I have run into this person and he is not a monster.  In fact, he is a pretty decent person. I joke that becoming a great person is the worst thing he ever did to me.  How can I hold a grudge now? It would be akin to thinking Gandhi is a total jerk.  The teenager who said those words is gone.  The teenager who heard those words is gone too.

#23  A man jumps from the fortieth story of a building.  As he’s passing the twenty-eighth floor, he hears a phone ring and regrets that he jumped.  Why?

As Jerome was falling he heard the telephone ring and remembered the day that the nursing home called to tell him that his father had passed away.  His Dad had fought death off with both hands.  He went to the grave kicking and screaming and now here was his son giving up.  How could he do this?  Why didn’t he have the fight in him like his old man.

Jerome’s other “old man” heard this silent lament and suddenly the wind changed and Jerome landed with a thud on the awning over a small cafe.  He was broken in places he didn’t know he had but he was alive.

#17 & #18 Before and after…..

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#17  You are looking down through the skylight as chefs prepare dinner for your ex-fiance’s wedding.

Salmon?  I can’t believe that they are going to have salmon.  I would never, ever, make people eat salmon.  I am not a monster!  But, this woman obviously is.  Oh, wait.  Who is the one sitting in the rain, stalking their ex-fiance?  O.K. I am the monster.

#18  Put two people who hate each other in an elevator for 12 hours.  What happens?

I can’t believe that she didn’t take the next elevator!  Ugh…. you would think that when your divorce has just been finalized you would not want to ride in the same elevator as you ex-husband.  Why is she smiling at me?  “Ruth, why are you smiling at me?”

“Well, Phil, I just got my life back.  I don’t ever have to look at you again, and I got the dog. You’d be smiling too.” Ruth purred.

“I hope you and Fifi are happy.  I was never much of a lap dog kind of guy, I think I’ll live.” Phil stated.

Clank….

“What was that?  why did we stop moving?” Ruth shrieked.

“Great.  Just great. You couldn’t make this crap up!”  Phil said as he reached for the emergency phone.

“What are they saying?”  Ruth yelled.

“Ruth, stop screaming in my ear!  They said that they are going to get us out of here as soon as they can.  Just cool your jets.”

“I think that is reason 548 that I am divorcing you.  I hate it when you tell me to cool my jets.  What does that even mean?”

“It means, that you need to calm down.  It means that you need to stop making a federal case out of everything! It means that you need to just stop talking.”

“Fine.  You won’t hear another word out of me.”

“Fine.”

I decided that this was my opportunity to get some much needed rest.  First, I sat down and then after an hour or so I decided to lay down.  Ruth just stood there playing with her smart phone.  Typical.

Eleven hours later, the phone rang.  I woke with a start and looked at my watch.  Ruth was sitting with her back to the opposite wall.  She reached for the phone before I could grab it.  She started yelling at the person on the opposite end.  Saying that she was going to own this elevator company and finally that she really had to pee.

I couldn’t help but chuckle.  I had to pee too.

“Ruth, are you o.k.?”

“What do you care?”

“Ruth, we may be divorced but you are a human being.  It is socially acceptable to ask if you are o.k.”

Ruth rolled her eyes. “Did you know you talk in your sleep?”

“No, I didn’t know that.  What was I saying?”

“You were talking about Heather. Figures.”

“Heather was a big part of my life.  I almost married her.”

“Well, maybe you should have.”

“I kind of wish I had. She never would have served salmon at our wedding.”

#13 & #14 Trips back in time to Dayton’s and Argentina.

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#13 Write a scene in which a woman is fired after only a week on the job.  Just a week earlier, the same person who is now firing her was very persuasive in convincing her to take the job.

Jane walked into her supervisors office.  She was excited to see Ruthie again because the last time they met it had been the day she was hired to be the new perfume girl at Dayton’s.  Jane almost felt like she and Ruthie were soul mates.  They both liked living in Minnesota, and had pet cats named Kirby Puck-cat. (What are the odds!) They talked for several minutes about the best place to buy pet food in the Twin Cities. And had both agreed that cat people were given a bad rap. When asked why she wanted to be a perfume girl Jane said in her best cat woman voice, “Well, it is the puurrr-fect job for me.”

Ruthie welcomed Jane into her office and got straight to business.  “Jane, we are going to have to let you go.  You are not right for the Dayton’s family.  We wish you the best of luck in the future.  Here is your paycheck.”

Jane couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  Flabbergasted, she shrieked, “You’re firing me!!  I thought we were friends! How can you think I’m not right for the Dayton’s family? I’m perfect for the Dayton’s family!!!”

Ruthie took a deep breath and calmly started to speak, “Jane, while I think we would make excellent friends on the outside of Ridgedale, you have to admit you are not doing well at your job.  Think about it.  What happened last Tuesday?”

Jane racked her brain trying to think of anything that had happened on Tuesday.  The only thing out of the ordinary she remembered was one gentlemen asking for a new perfume for his wife but leaving without buying anything.  Finally she queried, “are you talking about that guy from Minnetonka?”

Ruthie gasped, “that guy from Minnetonka was Governor Arne Carlson, and you sprayed sun flowers right in his eyes!”

Jane tried to explain, “he wanted to see the bottle, it was an accident!”

Ruthie started her deep breathing exercises again whispering,  “Jane, he is the governor of this State, the Dayton family is not in the business of upsetting the political world.  You are not puur-fect for this job!”

#14  Write a short story that is set in Argentina in 1932, in which a teacup plays a crucial role.  
Argentina had been called the Paris of South America, but from where I was sitting it looked like heaven on Earth compared to the camps the Bonus Army men had set up next to the Potomac River.  After spending a month covering this story for the New York Times, my boss decided that we needed to see if there was any difference between the economic crisis back home and here in South America.  I thought it was going to be a pretty swanky assignment but after all those days on a banana boat I was still trying to get my land legs back.
Holding my aching stomach I walked into a Cafe and ordered a cup of chamomile tea.  The waiter brought me a mismatched teapot and cup.  The teapot was a vivid purple but the cup was a dingy white that looked like it had seen better days.  I almost sent it back but my Spanish was not up to par.  As I raised the cup to my lips a man walked up to my table and starting frantically talking to me in Spanish.  I had no idea what he was saying.  I decided to take a chance that he spoke English.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t understand you.  Could you say that again, more slowly?  All I got was something about the cup.  Is there something wrong with it?” I put the cup down wondering if it was poisoned.  Just my luck to be the first female journalist from the New York Times to go to Argentina and end up getting poisoned.

The man’s face brightened. He started to talk very slowly in English.  “Are you from the U.S.?”

I nodded that I was and he went on to explain that he was about to go to the United States because he was a member of the Olympic team. He had started taking English lessons hoping that it would make his time in Los Angles easier.  He told me that his name was Juan Zabala and he was going to win the Men’s marathon. I liked that he was so positive that he was going to win. I asked him if he had been running marathons and he told me that he had ran all his life but he hadn’t run a marathon until the year before.  What an incredible source for my story.  I asked him to sit down and started to talk to him about his life and how things were in Argentina.  After talking for a few hours it dawned on me that I had never figured out what he wanted to tell me about the teacup.

Juan replied, “Since I have started training for the marathon I have come here every morning for coffee.  It is my lucky cup. They never wash it. You don’t want the luck to go down the drain.”

#12 An imaginary trip to IKEA and an imaginary pride swallowing incident.

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#12 You have just swallowed your pride and done something you didn’t want to do.  Your friend wants to know why.  The two of you are driving around an almost-full parking garage looking for a space for the friend’s oversize pickup.  Write the scene.

Like most women in their forties, I lived like a college student.  (Oh, that isn’t the case?) When I say I lived like a college student I mean that none of the furniture that I owned has been paid for with my money. Until two years ago I had slept on a mattress on the floor.  At that point, one of my co-workers took mercy on me and helped me get the box spring out of storage. All it cost me was lunch at Culver’s. Then my BFF Barbara got me a bed frame.  Every step into adulthood required an intervention from one of my friends.  As you can imagine, I didn’t own a dresser.  For five years I had been storing all my clothes in plastic bins.  (And honestly, the floor.) So, I decided to finally bite the bullet and buy a dresser.  Being the cheapskate I am, I decided to go to IKEA.  I was thinking that since it would come unassembled in boxes it might fit in my car.  When I told this to my BFF Sue she said that I was crazy and she would use her neighbors truck.  “Since when have you been talking to your neighbors?”  I questioned.  This sounded very fishy to me.

“Well, they owe me a favor.  I watched their dog when they were in Acapulco for two weeks,” Sue explained.

I tried to talk though my laughter, “You, agreed to watch someone’s dogs for two weeks?  It must be a very cute dog.  Pomeranian?”

Sue went on to explain that yes, it was a Pomeranian and that the couple had only planned on being in Mexico for 5 days but then lost their passports and it took that long to get back into the country.

When we got to IKEA we were struggling to find a parking spot.  Sue was getting furious.  “Don’t get me wrong.  I love the Swedes, but this parking lot is a nightmare!!!!!! The spots are only big enough for Smart Cars and Saabs!  Maybe I should just take up two spots.  But I suppose they’d call the UN and get me on crimes against humanity.  I don’t think I should get a ticket in my neighbors truck.  Why aren’t you saying anything??”

I stared out the window but decided it was time to tell someone.  “I”m just mad because I had to ask my arch enemy for help.”

Sue was worried.  “Who?”

“Remember the guy that was my co-operating teacher when I student taught?” I whispered.

“How on earth could anyone forget him? Also, co-operating is not a word that I would use to describe that guy.”  she said in a way that only a BFF could, equal parts disgust and venom.

“Well, they are honoring someone else at the school he used to work at. And of course I agreed to be on the stupid committee.  I missed one meeting and they put me in charge of finding someone who could give a nice speech.  I asked the honoree and they wanted Voldemort himself!” I screached.  Seriously, only dogs could hear me.
“When you called him was he nice?” Sue asked hopefully.

“That’s the thing, he didn’t even remember me.  I practically threw up getting up the nerve to call him and he had no idea who I was. So typical.  He said that he’d do the speech and thankfully, I don’t have to attend.  All is right in the world.” I huffed.

“I think this calls for some meatballs.  Screw it.  I’m taking up three parking spaces.  What are they going to do to me?  Put me in IKEA jail?” Sue proclaimed.

You gotta love friends.  They make everything better.  Meatballs, yeah, meatballs help too.

You are an astronaut. Describe your perfect day.

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5. You are an astronaut. Describe your perfect day.

 

Everybody wants to be an astronaut when they grow up.  Well, everyone except my nephew Axes who for years said that he wanted to be a truck.  When you tell people that you are going to be an astronaut they give you that look.  The “stop being a smart ass” look.  I seriously wanted to become and astronaut and I did.  Was it easy?  Heck no!  Do you know how much math and science it took to become an astronaut?  In college I would always have to room with some geeky liberal arts major who was trying to figure out a new way incorporate the wind in her interpretive dance.  Do you know how annoying that is?  So, as a “going to be an astronaut” I had plenty of rotten days.  Now that I am an actual astronaut (it says this in the occupation blank of my W2’s) I still have lots of rotten days.  The space program is being cut left and right, I’ve had to testify before congress seven times trying to get them to put some money into NASA.  Do you realize how big a check we have to write to Russia to get me into space? But when I am in space, it all disappears.  The politics, the math, the science, it all falls to the wayside.  I am floating.  There is no tension in my body.  I am flying around the space station doing the things that I was trained to do.  As I am floating my eye catches something outside the hatch.  It shines like the most beautiful blue and green marble.  Earth.  When you have seen your home from this vantage point it changes you.  You know that this small speck in the massiveness of space is a fragile beautiful thing.  Poets and artists can try to convey the beauty but it just can’t be done.  As I stare at the Earth I think, this is where I work.  This is perfection.