#42 Something you’ve always regretted saying.

At the end of my junior year of high school, I was befriended by a girl that was more popular than I was.  I was pretty shocked that this girl decided that I was someone she wanted to hang out with.  She asked me if I wanted to go to Ridgedale and I was pretty sure that it was a joke.  I envisioned us getting to the mall and me getting doused with a bucket of pigs blood or some other geek shaming ritual.  But, that was not the case.  This girl did want to be my friend.  We were in choir together and had a lot of similar interests so we became fast friends.

Speaking of choir.  There was a sophomore girl who sat in front of us in choir who was really snotty and not very nice to anyone.  She seemed very fake all they way down to the fact that she obviously, spent time in the tanning booth.  During the night of one of our concerts my new BFF decided that she had had enough of this girl and was going to put her in her place.  She started saying things like, “Tan much?” She then started calling the girl a “citrus princess,” making fun of her unnatural color.  And what did I do?  Did I tell her to knock it off?  Did I tell her that even though this girl was awful, there was no reason for us to pick on her? Did I just tell her to shut up?  Nope.  I laughed and played along. I did nothing to stop it and probably egged her on. I was a coward.

This happened almost 25 years ago and I still feel terrible.  That night my character was tested and I totally failed.  Now that I’m a teacher, I tell this story to my students tell them that sitting back and doing nothing is pretty hard to forget. You will regret the things that you don’t say and don’t do just as much as the times that you are doing and saying bad things.  Be a person that you would be proud to know.  Don’t stoop to the level of others.

#43 Write a scene that begins: “Joe was the last person on Earth I expected to do that.” 

Joe was the last person on Earth I expected to do that.  He had never once talked to me or even seemed to notice who I was but suddenly, on a Monday morning he walked up carrying a cup from Starbucks.  “Um, good morning.  I know that you prefer to get your coffee from small independent stores but I drive by Starbucks on my way to work.  I figured it was better than nothing.” Joe stammered as he handed me the coffee cup.

I thanked him and took a sip, burning my mouth, yelling, “crap! That is as hot as lava.”

“Well, actually lava is 2,192 degrees Fahrenheit.  If the coffee was that hot it would have burned the cup, and your hand, and your face.”

“Oh, I suppose you are right, and how would you get lava here in Minnesota.  Hot asphalt maybe, but lava, definitely not. Well, thank you.  I think this is the first time you have ever spoken to me so it is delightful to get coffee.  Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.  Listen, I have to ask you for a favor.”

“Butter me up and then go in for the kill.  So, what do you need someone to babysit your kids, cat sit, dog sit, pick up your mail, water your plants, write you a sonnet.”

“So, I’m taking it this happens a lot.”

“Yes, it is one of the perils of being single and having no life.  You are available to watch plants, pets and progeny.”

“Well, you’ll be happy to know it is none of those things.”

“New is good.  So, what do you need a kidney?  Please don’t say a kidney.  I will feel like the biggest jerk in the world.”

“No. I need you to help me get ready for being on Jeopardy.”

“That. Is. Awesome.  It has always been my ultimate life goal to get on Jeopardy.  No offense Joe, if you have the ability to rattle off the the temperature of lava, you don’t need me.”

“Well, your first day on the job, when we asked you what you liked to do in your spare time, you said TV.  Most people would lie and say that they liked to read but you announced with no shame that you liked to watch TV.  I need someone who likes to watch TV.”

“Well, I’m your girl.”