Month: July 2014

#33 Life is a highway!

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saturn

#33 Tell the true story of a dramatic moment in your life, but weave in one secret and one lie.  
When I left Alaska I had all my ducks in a row.  I had a plan on what I was going to do and when I was going to do it.  When I got back to Minnesota I subbed for two years in Buffalo.  It seemed that while I was in Alaska, the market for social studies teachers had not changed. I had kind of thought that having five years of experience in one place would at least get me in the door for some interviews.  While I was subbing, I spent a lot of time filling in for special education teachers. The special ed teachers at the high school really took me under their wing.  They were constantly telling me that I was good with the kids and it was obvious I enjoyed what I was doing.  A few of them mentioned that I should go back to school and get licensed to teach special ed.  Finally, I decided to take their advice and in the summer of 2008 I started driving to St. Cloud for summer school. (This was that magical summer when gas cost $4.00 a gallon)  My partner in this mission was my 1995 Gold Saturn.  I LOVED this car.  I loved that it was a Saturn, I loved that it was gold, I loved that it was pretty reliable.  Heck, I even liked my license plate that said “HBT” we said that it stood for Heather Bakke’s Taxi.  My friends Shawn and Sue called it Golden Boy.  Golden Boy was the mythical perfect teenage boy that my dad always talked about in his classes. My car was the mythical perfect car! My car had almost 300,000 miles on it. I joked that the car was starting to fight off death, both side mirrors were gone, if you were in stop and go traffic you had to turn on the heat, and then the dome light disconnected from the ceiling.  It was hanging by the wires and kind of resembled a chandelier. It seemed to me that all of the scars were just cosmetic, until the 90 degree day in June when my beloved Saturn died at the side of the road.  I called a tow truck and was towed back to St. Cloud.  They told me that it would cost $80 to run a diagnostic to see what was wrong.  The guy told me that it probably wasn’t even worth $80.  I was in denial and sunk $80 in to the Saturn to delay what was truly inevitable.  I can’t even remember what was wrong with it, but it would have cost more to fix the car than it was worth.  I called my parents and asked them to come and get me and to bring several garbage bags to pack up all my stuff that was in the car.  I was so sad about my car, but I was even sadder when I thought about the fact that I had a good thing going in Alaska.  I was stupid to walk away from a guaranteed job and I was never going to find anything as good as I had up there.  Thankfully, the years healed many of those feelings.  I finished my special education license, became a special education teacher, and found a great job.  But, every time I see a gold Saturn driving down the road I get a little sad, wishing I still had my Golden Boy/Taxi.

#31 & #32 “I am not incaccurate!”

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#31 Write a recipe for disaster.
A room full of Bakke children + a game of Trivial Pursuit.

We always have the best of intentions.  It will be fun.  It will give us a chance to do something that we all love. We are all very smart.  We are all very competitive.  And as the character David Bliss said in the play Hay Fever, “I am not inaccurate!”  Obviously, we are never wrong.

#32  Your friend calls to say she saw you in the back of a police car yesterday.  What happened?

Would you believe I was on a ride along?  O.K. even I wouldn’t believe that.  As with most of the crazy things that happen in my life, it started out with me trying to be nice.  I was walking up to the highway that runs through town to check my mailbox when a car swerved to the side of the road.  The person driving the car asked me where was the best place to get ice cream.  I told him to keep going west and that when he got outside of town the Drive In would be right on his left.  Suddenly, there was a cackle from the backseat, “Are the burgers as good as they are at Hardee’s?”  I looked down into the car and saw Sue. Not one of my many friends named Sue, but Sue the housekeeper/friend who shared a table with us at Nellie’s Cafe in Walnut Grove.  I told her that it was nice to see her again and turned to go back to my house but then she held up her hand and she was holding a gun!  She told me to get into the car and that I was going to go with them out to the drive in and rob the place because I had a friendly face.  I told her that everyone out there knew me so they wouldn’t fall for that.  But, THIS Sue was a daredevil and did what she wanted.  I asked them if I could drive separately (it was worth a shot!) and she pointed the gun at me again and told me to get into the car.  I did and we drove out to the Drive In.  Sue told me to go up to the window.  I did and when the girl asked for my order I told her that I wanted to order 200 coneys.  The girl didn’t believe me.  I said again that I wanted 200 coneys and to make them extra spicy.  I looked at the girl and told her to tell the cook that Bakke demanded 200 extra spicy coneys.  I started walking back to the get away car and Sue started yelling at me asking where the money was.  I told her that they were putting it into a bag and bringing it out to the car to make it look real.  The maniac housekeeper/friend seemed to be placated by this.  As I was getting into the car, a swarm of police cars sped into the parking lot.  They jumped up, handcuffed me and threw me into the back of one of the cars.  Sue and her driver were placed into another car.

As the chief got into the car I asked her how she knew that I was in trouble.  “Well, while Chanda wouldn’t put it past you to order 200 coneys, she knew that the only way you would order anything extra spicy was with a gun to your back.”

#30 Five memories

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#30 Describe five memories-events you remember really well.  Then take one of them further.  
 1.  I made Al Franken laugh.  Before he ran for the Senate, Al Franken was writing political books and had started a PAC.  Critic’s of Franken said that the PAC consisted of Hollywood money.  When I went to one of his book signings, I said, “It was a pleasure to donate all of my Hollywood money to your PAC.”  That got him laughing.

 
2.  I went on an Alaskan cruise with Barbara and Eric H.  They had wanted to visit me in Alaska and we decided it would be fun to see a part of the state where none of us had gone.  When we were docked in Juneau we took a helicopter trip to Mendenhall Glacier. This was the first time I had seen a glacier and I was absolutely mesmerized by the blue color of the ice in the crevices.  I imagine the sky in Heaven is that color blue because it is absolutely perfect.

 

3.  Our senior year of high school we did Little Shop of Horrors and our school rented the costumes from UMD.   A group of us drove up to Duluth to pick up the costumes.  This car ride and day in Duluth is something that Shawn, Sue, Kerry and I still talk about.  It was the perfect day of the semi-freedom your senior year in high school provides.

 

4.  One time I threw a party out of spite. People were getting on me because I never had people over.  I didn’t want to have people over so I decided that I wanted to make sure that it was the lamest party ever.  I told everyone that the party was going to have a poetry reading.  I said everyone was going to have to read a poem.  It ended up being the best party I ever threw.
Here is the poem I wrote for the occasion:

 

The Tundra is like a movie theater floor
O.K. I’ve never seen popcorn covering tundra
like a theater is covered after a matinee of Lilo and Stich
But they are alike

Random pop cans (hey, we don’t sell that here)
candy wrappers
your shoes get sticky
both are hard to walk on
they have their own unique smell

They both take your breath away the first time you see them.
Why do you think they keep theaters dark?

5.  The day I moved to Alaska.

I shall expand on the the day I moved to Alaska….

The day I moved to Alaska I woke up at four in the morning to get to the airport.  I was taking an unusual flight path.  I was flying Minneapolis, to Chicago, to Seattle, to Anchorage, to Kotzebue.  I was taking that route because I had gone for the cheapest airfare.  Even the cheapest ticket was super expensive.  My brother Shawn ended up loaning me the money to buy the ticket. (Don’t worry, I paid him back.)  My Dad, my brother Eric and my sister Heidi drove me to the airport.  This was about a month before the September 11th terrorist attacks so they were able to go all the way to the gate with me.  We sat and waited for me to get on the plane.  It was a pretty solemn occasion.  A few minutes before boarding started I went and used the restroom.  When I came out Barbara and Eric H. were standing there holding signs that said “Alaska or Bust” and “We will miss you Heather Lena”  it was pretty adorable.  There were lots of tears and I said my goodbyes.

When I got to Seattle I used a payphone to call home to tell them that I had made it as far as Seattle.  When my mom answered, she told me that Eric was in the hospital with pneumonia.  She joked that my moving to Alaska almost killed Eric.  Thankfully, he didn’t die.

In Anchorage, things started to get a little more real.  When we flew in to the city I saw the mountains and I realized that this was the first time I had ever seen a mountain.  When I got off the plane I stood at a large window just looking at the mountains.  The gate area had a huge stuffed bear. The people waiting in the gate area looked like people who were going on a camping trip.  I found a chair and sat waiting for the flight to Kotzebue.  While I sat staring into space I heard people mumbling, “Do you think that’s Faith’s cousin?” (My cousin Faith had been teaching in Alaska for quite a few years and had told her friends to be on the lookout for me in the airport.)  I turned and waved at the people and told them that I was Faith’s cousin.  Talking with them helped calm my nerves.  I had no idea what I was getting into and it made me happy to know that these ladies had survived and loved it.  They assured me that if they could do it, I could do it to.

When we got to Kotzebue we had to exit the airplane walking down the steps on to the runway.  This was a first for me.  When we walked into the airline terminal there were a bunch of people there to welcome everyone.  I was met by my cousin’s husband and their little girl.  We grabbed my bags and went outside and strapped them on to the four wheeler.  I took my first ride on a four wheeler with four bags and three people.  We went straight to the welcome barbecue and when I got off the four wheeler I noticed that my jeans were splattered with mud.  I was really embarrassed thinking I’d make a horrible impression but it turned out that no one noticed or cared.  That night I got to meet a bunch of teachers from Selawik.  It was so much fun to put faces with the names I had heard.

After the picnic we went to Faith’s house and I played outside with her daughter.  Their house was right on Kotzebue sound so we spent a few hours throwing rocks into the water.  I was starting to get tired and I looked at my watch and it was 1 AM!!!  It was still bright at day out.  Alaska was three hours behind Minnesota so my brain was thinking it was 3am.  I had been awake for 23 hours.  Eventually, I was able to lay down and go to bed.  A pretty successful first day in Alaska.

#27, #28 and #29 Weird topics….

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#27 Describe an electronic device in the future that you won’t know how to operate.  
In the future, doctors, nurse practitioners and physicians assistants will be able to diagnose disease by using a hand held scanner.  The trick will be knowing where to point the device.  It will only scan the first area of the body that it scans so the medical worker will have to use their diagnostic skills to know which area to scan first.  It will totally be like something on Star Trek.

#28  A storm destroys your uncle’s shed and kills his six-year-old son.  Describe the color of the sky right before the storm hit.  
The sky was starting to turn ugly.  In the morning the sky was a color of blue that is usually reserved for the warm waters of a tropical island.  You expected to see clown fish darting between the bleached coral white clouds.  After lunch the sky started to turn the color of an old bruise.  A swirl of green, yellow and then black.  This did not bode well for the citizens of the town.

#29  Name the trees that stood in the neighborhood where you grew up.  
We had two big oak trees in front of the house.  They were really strong until a storm blew up and we’d lose a branch here or there.  Whenever that happened my Uncle’s Rick and Gary would have to come up from Iowa to help us cut up the branches.  I’ll name those trees Rick and Gary.  On the south side of the drive way was an elm tree.  It was tall and unassuming.  I’m going to name that tree Eric after my brother, because he is tall (at least when compared to me) and very unassuming.  Next to the elm were three christmas tree sized evergreens.  I’m going to name those Huey, Dewey and Louie because that is the coolest trio name.  On the north side of the house we had a very tall evergreen.  The squirrels used to jump from the oak trees on to the roof of the house and then run over to the pine tree.  I loved this about the squirrels, they knew how to have fun!  I will name that tree Old Hickory.  Sure, it wasn’t a hickory tree, but it was definitely the Andrew Jackson of our trees.  Little known fact.  Andrew Jackson’s greatest regret was that he never killed John Quincy Adams when he had had the chance.  True story.

#26 Get your kicks on Route 66!

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#26 Describe something you wanted badly and, once you got it, never used.
A few years ago Target had a deal where they were selling things from cute little shops all over the country.  One of the shops they teamed up with was the “The Curiosity Shoppe” out of San Francisco.  The stuff from the Curiosity Shoppe had a total “Route 66” vibe going for it and I was in love!!!  I bought a bunch of the coffee cups that had famous roadside attractions like the “Muffler Man” and “Blue Whale.” I am a total sucker for kitschy stuff like this.  (Note to self, research where worlds largest squirrel is located.)  One of the most expensive items they sold was a cake stand.  I desperately wanted this cake stand.  Thankfully, I was pretty broke when this cake stand came out so I didn’t buy it the first moment I laid eyes on it. (Shocking!) I watched and waited and eventually it went on clearance.  One day I was on a frantic Target run and I saw that the cake stand was down to $15.  I decided that I needed to buy that cake stand!!! So, I bought it and it has been standing on top of my refrigerator for two years.  The only thing it has held is a box of parchment paper.  Of course, I don’t believe I’ve made a cake in at least two years so this may explain something.  (Note to self, research cakes that resemble squirrels.)

#24 & #25 Why Squirrels? Who is this Heather Bakke?

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#24 Pick a small object to be given one day to your great-grandchild.  Write a letter to that child explaining why you have chosen this object.  

Dear great-grandchild,
I never thought that I would have children.  By some miracle I did.  Then to go on to become a grandmother and a great-grandmother was nothing less than pure bliss.  As you get older and your parents talk about Grandma Heather it will probably be difficult to remember me.  I understand this feeling.  My middle name, Lena, came from my great-grandmother.  I have no memories of her. But growing up, I would hear stories about her.  I guess I was a very fussy baby and would cry all the time.  Grandma Lena, the story goes, was the only person who could calm me down.

One of the stories that you probably heard about me was how I liked to collect squirrels.  I would get asked all the time, “why squirrels?”  Here is the explanation: After I graduated from Bethany I transferred to Gustavus Adolphus College.  The campus was covered with many beautiful trees. (This was before a tornado destroyed many of them in 1997) These trees were filled with many squirrels. One night as I was leaving the dining hall, I noticed a squirrel perched on top of the garbage can and it was eating an ice cream sandwich.  It wasn’t just eating it.  The squirrel was holding the ice cream like he was a person.  He was even using his tiny paws to peel away the paper.  I stood there watching the squirrel and I thought, “any animal that loves ice cream has got to be worth noticing.” I told many people this story but it piqued the interest of my friend Sue.  Sue and I decided that we were going to keep tabs on the squirrels.  We even talked about naming them. Sue and I started leaving squirrel information in each other’s mailboxes.  One article talking about how squirrels had short attention spans so Sue said that squirrels spent their lives thinking, “Where did I put that nut???”  Sue was an art major and she used her creative eye to make me a squirrel ornament.  She called it a “Burgundy Squirrel-shaped medallion,” this was a play on the words of a David Wilcox song that we both listened to constantly.  My collection of squirrels grew in the hundreds but it all started with this wire squirrel.  I hope that you treasure it as much as I did.

Love,
Grandma Heather Lena

David Wilcox’s Lyrics to Burgundy Heart-Shaped Medallion
If I had a spell of magic
I would make this enchantment for you
A burgundy heart-shaped medallion
With a window that you could look through
So that when all the mirrors are angry
With your faults and all you must do
You could peek through that heart-shaped medallion
And see you from my point of view

#25  Describe yourself in the third person-your physical appearance and personality-as though you were a character in a book.  

When Heather Bakke talked, people listened.  This had not as much to do with the importance of her words, but the volume of her speech.  This is not to say that she didn’t have important things to say, they were just buried in a thick layer of joking and Simpson’s quotes.  After hearing her cackle a block away you would catch up to her and be startled that such a booming voice came out of such a small person.  She was short and stocky but the look suited her.  Heather always joked that “smiling was her favorite.”    She was always smiling.  Unless she was thinking.  If Heather was thinking, she would get a pained expression on her face.  Many times when she was deep in thought people would ask her if she was o.k.  Thankfully, the smiling won out.  When Heather smiled you couldn’t see her eyes.  This was a Bakke trait.  Their family photos contained only glimpses of eyeballs but lots of cheeks and smiles. When you could see her eyes, you noticed that they were hazel green.  She had friendly eyes, except when she was glaring at you with her “teacher look.”  This look could send a shiver down your spine.  Heather’s auburn hair was starting to gray, giving up the fact that even if she wished that she was still 19, she was in fact in her forties.  Her fashion sense?  Two words: paisley Birkenstocks.  Heather could be the life of the party but had it in her to be     quiet too.

#21, #22, & #23 Bless you!!! I forgive you!!!

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#21 A sneeze.
My brother Eric has the loudest sneeze of any person I have ever met.  When it comes out of nowhere it scares you. Literally, it will make you jump.  You want to scream at him for scaring you but people can’t control sneezes.  It would be like yelling at someone for breathing.

#22  The meanest thing anyone has ever said to you.

When I was seventeen I decided to get my ears pierced.  Like most teenagers, I made this life changing decision at the spur of the moment.  Being seventeen I needed to have a parent or guardian give their permission.  I was at the Minnesota State Wrestling tournament so my Mom was not there and my Dad was very busy being the head wrestling coach.  Undaunted, I found a willing adult to pose as my mother.  When we got to the shop and I was sitting in the chair my pseudo-mother had a change of heart.  She threw up her hands and admitted that we were lying and that she wasn’t my mom. She explained the situation to the piercing girl who shrugged and said something along the lines of, “whatever,” and pierced my ears.  The mother and I were on cloud nine.  I had gotten my ears pierced and we hadn’t had to lie. We were absolutely giddy and riding an adrenaline rush.  When we got back to the hotel we ran into this woman’s son and breathless with laughter started to tell him the whole story.  Midway he cut his mom off and said, “Mom, I don’t give a shit.”  Instantly, the wind was out of our sails.  We had been so happy and wanted to share this funny story and he didn’t care.  Adult Heather can totally understand where he this boy was coming from.  He was stressed out, he was in the State Tournament, he was a teenage boy. I would also see this was more a reflection of him being terrible to his mother.  But seventeen year-old Heather, was DEVASTATED.  She heard, “Mom, I don’t give a shit about Heather.” Seventeen year-old Heather, was convinced that most teenage boys didn’t give a shit about her and this was concrete proof that all her self-doubts were absolutely spot on.  I am forty-one years old and I will never forget how terrible I felt in that elevator.

Thankfully, this story has a happy ending.  Over the years I have run into this person and he is not a monster.  In fact, he is a pretty decent person. I joke that becoming a great person is the worst thing he ever did to me.  How can I hold a grudge now? It would be akin to thinking Gandhi is a total jerk.  The teenager who said those words is gone.  The teenager who heard those words is gone too.

#23  A man jumps from the fortieth story of a building.  As he’s passing the twenty-eighth floor, he hears a phone ring and regrets that he jumped.  Why?

As Jerome was falling he heard the telephone ring and remembered the day that the nursing home called to tell him that his father had passed away.  His Dad had fought death off with both hands.  He went to the grave kicking and screaming and now here was his son giving up.  How could he do this?  Why didn’t he have the fight in him like his old man.

Jerome’s other “old man” heard this silent lament and suddenly the wind changed and Jerome landed with a thud on the awning over a small cafe.  He was broken in places he didn’t know he had but he was alive.

#19 & #20 Lost and Found…..

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#19  Something you lost.
If Sting was the king of pain, I am the queen of losing things.  On a typical day I will misplace my keys, driver’s license, debit card and purse.  These things usually turn up.  I will admit that this tendency is very annoying to the people who are standing by the door waiting for me.  “Just a second, I have to find my debit card.  I think it’s in the pants I was wearing yesterday.”  Very annoying.

Growing up, if you couldn’t find something my mom’s typical suggestion was to “walk backwards in your mind.”  I would always picture myself walking backwards and tripping over the lost item.  My dad took a different approach. Lecture.  He would lecture us on keeping things in a special place.

“Dad, I can’t find my shoes!”

“Heather, you need to have a special place!”

Now that my Dad is getting older and doesn’t know where the remote control is 97% of the time it is fun to remind him of this.

“Heather Lena, where’s the remote?”

“Well, Dad, maybe if you kept it in a SPECIAL PLACE you would know.”

I also like to throw in my Grandma Johnson’s advice.  “Look with your hands!”

There are a few items I have lost and all the walking backwards in my mind and looking with my hands have not found.  It is funny that both the items are jewelry.  When I was in my twenties I bought a really nice ring.  It was that special time in my life when every single woman I knew was getting married.  In a fit of “you go girl/ you don’t need a man” I bought a very nice ring.  It was gold and it had some very, very tiny diamonds in it.  I lost it and it has not been found.  So, I guess I’m not married to myself anymore??

The other thing I lost was a necklace with an hourglass.  The “sand” in the hourglass was made out of diamond dust.  (I know you are impressed.)  Now, this is the embarrassing part.  I ordered this necklace from NBC.  From the Days of Our Lives store.  Yes, like Sands Through the Hourglass I really like Days of Our Lives.  The necklace was beautiful and now it is gone.  I would have just bought another one but they don’t sell it anymore.  But, I hold out hope.  Since the necklace is the product of a soap opera perhaps it will come back to life much like the much detested Stefano DiMera.  (Insert Evil Laughter)

#20 Something you found.

One time when I was driving to visit my friend in Sheboygan, Wisconsin; I decided to take the scenic route.  This next part may be hard to believe……but I got terribly lost.  After an hour of trying to find where I was supposed to be going the fuel light started blinking.  I drove into a small town and found a gas station.  While I was filling up my car I looked over at the dilapidated building next to the gas station and the faded, peeling sign said, “Bakke Feed and Seed.”  When I saw that I burst into laughter and then I started crying.  Much to the horror of the small town gas station attendant. Did I mention that this gas station did not have pay at the pump so he got to deal with me first hand?  (I’m sure I would be his answer to the question, Have you ever had a customer who couldn’t decide between laughing and crying?) I decided that this little detour could provide the life lesson that sometimes when you think you are lost, you are in fact, exactly where you were meant to be.

#17 & #18 Before and after…..

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#17  You are looking down through the skylight as chefs prepare dinner for your ex-fiance’s wedding.

Salmon?  I can’t believe that they are going to have salmon.  I would never, ever, make people eat salmon.  I am not a monster!  But, this woman obviously is.  Oh, wait.  Who is the one sitting in the rain, stalking their ex-fiance?  O.K. I am the monster.

#18  Put two people who hate each other in an elevator for 12 hours.  What happens?

I can’t believe that she didn’t take the next elevator!  Ugh…. you would think that when your divorce has just been finalized you would not want to ride in the same elevator as you ex-husband.  Why is she smiling at me?  “Ruth, why are you smiling at me?”

“Well, Phil, I just got my life back.  I don’t ever have to look at you again, and I got the dog. You’d be smiling too.” Ruth purred.

“I hope you and Fifi are happy.  I was never much of a lap dog kind of guy, I think I’ll live.” Phil stated.

Clank….

“What was that?  why did we stop moving?” Ruth shrieked.

“Great.  Just great. You couldn’t make this crap up!”  Phil said as he reached for the emergency phone.

“What are they saying?”  Ruth yelled.

“Ruth, stop screaming in my ear!  They said that they are going to get us out of here as soon as they can.  Just cool your jets.”

“I think that is reason 548 that I am divorcing you.  I hate it when you tell me to cool my jets.  What does that even mean?”

“It means, that you need to calm down.  It means that you need to stop making a federal case out of everything! It means that you need to just stop talking.”

“Fine.  You won’t hear another word out of me.”

“Fine.”

I decided that this was my opportunity to get some much needed rest.  First, I sat down and then after an hour or so I decided to lay down.  Ruth just stood there playing with her smart phone.  Typical.

Eleven hours later, the phone rang.  I woke with a start and looked at my watch.  Ruth was sitting with her back to the opposite wall.  She reached for the phone before I could grab it.  She started yelling at the person on the opposite end.  Saying that she was going to own this elevator company and finally that she really had to pee.

I couldn’t help but chuckle.  I had to pee too.

“Ruth, are you o.k.?”

“What do you care?”

“Ruth, we may be divorced but you are a human being.  It is socially acceptable to ask if you are o.k.”

Ruth rolled her eyes. “Did you know you talk in your sleep?”

“No, I didn’t know that.  What was I saying?”

“You were talking about Heather. Figures.”

“Heather was a big part of my life.  I almost married her.”

“Well, maybe you should have.”

“I kind of wish I had. She never would have served salmon at our wedding.”

#15 & #16 This stuff is about to get real…….

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#15  Describe the most recent moment when you couldn’t think of anything to say.  Were you having a hard time making conversation, or were you simply dumbfounded?

A few weeks ago I was at a graduation party and conversation turned to a person that was very unhappy.  We were talking about the source of this person’s unhappiness and it was revealed that the person felt like a lot of the unhappiness came from me.  I kind of pride myself on being a very nice person so it was like a punch in the gut to hear that.  It was difficult to imagine that I would have that much power in this powerful person’s life to make them so unhappy.  I defended myself and gave the laundry list of reasons why I was not the mean one and how I was just trying to do the right thing.  Discussion turned to more happy topics but my mind was stuck.  All I could think about was how this person was going to spend the rest of their life thinking I was a jerk.  I kept running through the different situations in my head and was trying to figure out what I could have done differently.  Then my friend snapped me out of it and said, “Stop thinking about it.”

I did snap out of it  and was able to calm my nerves with a piece of cake,  but weeks later I still can’t stop thinking about it.

#16  What could have happened to you in high school that would have altered the course of your life?

I would like to look at this question in a two-fold way.  Internally and externally.  There things that are beyond our control and there are things that we have power over.

First external.  
Don’t get me wrong.  I loved Paul Wellstone.  He was an amazing politician and human being. He did Minnesota proud.  BUT, when he was running for the Senate in 1990, his son decided to go to school in the Twin Cities.  They said that the son would switch from the school in Northfield so he could be closer to the family who was setting up base for the campaign.  Normally, this wouldn’t be a big deal but the Wellstone kid was an awesome wrestler and where, out of all the schools in the Twin Cities did he choose?  Apple Valley.  If the Wellstone kid would have chosen any other school in Minnesota I believe in my hearts of hearts the Bison would have won the 2AA team championship.  While I don’t think winning the tournament would have catapulted any of us to sudden fame or riches, I know it would have meant a great deal to my dad.  Getting beat in the semi-finals didn’t ruin his life, not in the least.  (Especially now that he has grandkids- life’s true State Championship!) I do think, however,  it would have given him the satisfaction of knowing that all his years of hard work and dedication in the wrestling room had brought him the Holy Grail of high school wrestling.  Of course, his hard work and dedication has paid off. (And continues to pay off now that he’s a senior consultant for the Bison.)  When I think of all the wrestlers whose lives he was a part of, I know that they remember the lessons that he taught them. I know this because they tell me.  Everywhere I go people ask about my Dad, tell me their favorite Gerry Bakke story and end the conversation with, “send him my best.”  It is impossible to be around my Dad without being changed.  But… knowing that there is an empty spot in the trophy case.  Knowing every time you drive by the high school in Buffalo and see that sign that lists the state champions that the 1990 Wrestling team should be there.  It still hurts.

Internal.
When I was in high school I thought I was ugly.  I thought that everyone thought I was ugly and stupid.  I thought that no one would ever love me or want to be near me.  I was my own worst and harshest critic.  I look at pictures of myself back then and I wish that I could have seen myself through my eyes now.  I would see myself as beautiful.  I would see that I was surrounded by people who loved me and thought I was beautiful too.

So, what would it have changed?  I think I would have still have gone to Bethany and Gustavus.  I would have still become a social studies teacher and special education teacher.  If I would have believed in myself I would have been willing to open my heart to others.  I would have taken more risks and wouldn’t have constantly second guessed myself.  If I would have believed in myself, I think I would be married and have kids.

But, there is joy and worth in being the person who went through those trials and tribulations.  Just like I had cheerleaders rooting me on when I was in high school, I have become that person telling my students, both the girls and the boys that they are awesome.  I believe in them and they should believe in themselves.